And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
