he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
