Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
