My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
COCAINE IS GR8
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize