my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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