Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
