We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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