I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
