Your tits are I can't wait for
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
