Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
