At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
