They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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