You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
