i wish there were pregnant emoticons
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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