oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
