Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
