Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
