i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
