Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize