would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
organizing the empties. That sober.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
