I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
