is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
