Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
