My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
