it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
