Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
