You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
