peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize