Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
