I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
