$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
