So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
