I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
