Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
