Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
