Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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