Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I party with great urgency now.
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