If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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