He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
