I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
