So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
