she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
