I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize