I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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