YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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