I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
