The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
