When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
