Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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