They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
