that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
