There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
