In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
