Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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