I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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