Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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