she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
