Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
