I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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