if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize