i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Are my feet made of real feet?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
