On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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