I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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