i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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