Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
